Saturday, March 2, 2013

Addressing concerns, voiced and unvoiced

Someone raised a valid point over on the Lead Adventure Forum, where I'd posted a link to my last blog entry, "Courting Disaster." He or she contrasted that post with the issues I revealed in my earlier blog entry, "Confession to make," regarding my struggles with hoarding. The writer seemed confused by my apparent disregard for my recovery and the good advice and support I've received from fellow gamers here on my blog and at sites I frequent like LAF.

If one person is brave enough to raise the issue with me, then it's a good indicator that others are thinking it, too, so I wanted to share here what I wrote in response to that post on LAF:

Yes, I see I am not the only one snowed under by the quality of current and upcoming releases, which I need because of reasons.

@bezzo: You appear to have misconstrued the tone of the current post, which is with tongue firmly in cheek, and the nature of my mental malfunction described in the earlier post. My hoarding is not gaming-centric. I of course suffer from "Ooh, shiny" syndrome, wanting the latest and prettiest toys, but the reach of hoarding is so much greater. It involves keeping and being unable to discard items OF NO INTRINSIC VALUE. Used disposable items like old paper plates or clogged razors become part of the detritus covering the surfaces of a hoarder's home, and our bad programming means trying to get rid of them fills us with a paralyzing anxiety. Things that others can clearly see are garbage become necessary to our feelings of safety and security. The issues for which I posited in my new post, for humorous effect, that my wife would want to discipline me (heh heh) are FINANCIAL in nature, not related to new items entering our home. But thank you for your concern. I am indeed grateful for the interest, advice, efforts and outreach of my many good friends here at Lead Adventure Forum (and other Internet watering holes.) As I try to cope with and correct my behavior, it is that support that gives me strength. I won't be abandoning my hobby, though, because it is from there that I derive a portion of the enjoyment that makes up a satisfactory quality of life.
I hope that addresses any concerns one might have, especially if anyone feels slighted and thinks I've disregarded their advice. Far from it, but dealing with problems like this is a marathon, not a sprint, and the overlap between my acquisition of gaming goodies and my hoarding is minor at best.

Again, thank you all for your continued love and support. You people are the best damn friends a man could ask for, and I am grateful for each and every one of you. All my best to you.


  1. I can definitely attest to your situation, I have pringles cans all over my gaming area for "when I decide to make a castle" 3 generations of Powerade, gatorade, propel bottles because "these might make a good fusion reactor shell, or alien stasis chamber".

    I work at a grocery store, and the urge and need to bring home every odd looking piece of plastic packaging once overwhelmed my wife, who now just shakes her head and keeps telling me, every time I bring something new home, that "nothing else comes home until you start using what you have" Of course I listen to her until I go to work the next night.

    You keep telling yourself, tomorrow I am going to clean up, or going to build that castle I am saving canisters for then dump the rest, but even when you do build the castle you are sure there is another use for the rest of those pringles. The mindset is what happens if you suddenly find that use and you threw them away? what do you do now, what happens if Pringles shortens the can, which they just did BTW, and the new ones aren't long enough, which they aren't, for the next castle section.

    People who can control their collecting don't understand, don't want to understand, and think you are just a slob. I clean regularly but I store more away than I throw away.

    OK sorry to run such a rant on your blog... I should probably repost this whole thing on mine as well.

    1. No apology needed at all. Rant away! I'm always glad to hear from someone who's been there and can relate to the fear and anxiety. Thanks for reading, for understanding, for joining as a follower, and most of all for sharing your story.

  2. I have to admit, I purged some stuff in storage in the garage...I also have a TON of stuff sitting around collecting dust still. A box full of perhaps a few hundred CDs that I got from MIS as bases when I worked for them. They ruined the disk sectors but the rest is intact. The same could be said for the above drink and pringle cans and other odd and end bobs....I also have tons of gaming stuff to get rid of to find a good home for and I hope make a few bucks to recycle,

    The main issue is the economy, costs of shipping and in general finding that person that wants your stuff. I hate to throw things away and I also admit, there has been times I have turned around and went "wow, I am glad I kept that" because it was useful now. I admit I am a horder also, perhaps one of the worst ever...been gaming since I was 13, I am 40 now...I have stuff in two houses, in two seperate states including gaming and toys. My wife is right, it is a time for change and to purge out some....

    1. Best of luck with it, styx. I'm right there with you, needing to purge, recycle and reduce the clutter.

  3. I sometimes fear that I am a hoarder. I can barely get in my garage and have become adept at moving piles of books and papers around my house. I constant have the feeling that as soon as I throw something away I will find a use for it. I can however throw away garbage. This year I am trying to turn over a new leaf by actually giving away old clothes that don't fit and stuff I haven't used in 10+ years.

    As for Kickstarter, that's why I don't even look at them. I don't need anymore incentive to impulse buy.

    Interesting post, I have to think more about how to debride my life.

    1. It's been hard for me too admit that I have a problem with this and try to address my underlying issues. There are times in my life I've done the whole "well just get rid of all of it!" which can just be another avoidance technique. But I too need to think about better ways to simplify my life.