Welcome aboard! and the Age of Personal Miracles

I am so excited to announce these two new followers. At first I wasn't going to wait until my usual "Welcoming Wednesday" post, but I decided to stay disciplined about it, then I ended up a little under the weather and missed Wednesday itself by a few hours. Damn.

First we have Obsidian3D, author of the blog "Thinking Outside the Box" and master of the Obsidian Fists space marine chapter. This blog as been rolling on and going from strength to strength since 2006. Quality content keeps the readers coming back, and that's the secret to longevity over at "Thinking Outside the Box." This blog covers topics outside gaming, too, including computer topics so rarefied I have no idea what's going on, although I always learn something. Welcome aboard, Obsidian3D!

And now, drumroll please ... we welcome none other than Francis Lee, the Angry Lurker himself! Francis is a member of Posties Rejects and frequently posts about the activities of (and personalities in) that wargaming club. The Angry Lurker blog is another with great longevity, and I am always informed and entertained by the writing there. I try not to get too starstruck in this field, but as gaming bloggers go, the Angry Lurker is tops in my book and I'm truly honored to have him visit my little corner of the interwebz.

Speaking of being starstruck, may I truly say we live in an age of miracles. This technology and the advent of social media have made things happen for me I never would've believed possible. To be in such close contact with the creators of the games I enjoy, the writers of blogs I follow religiously, the sculptors behind the minis I crave and can't get enough of, the authors of novels that have shaped my own writing, and the artists who have executed such awe-inspiring paint jobs that my jaw just drops ... it is part the boon of the technology, but it is also great testimony to the generosity of spirit and warm-heartedness of those who make this hobby great.

Here are some of the things that still leave me gobsmacked:

• I count among my closest friends Hendybadger and The Galley Wench of "Tales of a Tabletop Skirmisher." In fact, although I'm an ocean away, I am Coleen's Official Stalker™.
• When I asked to piggyback on someone's Crocodile Games kickstarter buy so I could get one figure, it was Liliana Troy who offered to help. I've admired the elegant and color-rich work of this legendary painter and Slayer-weapon winner for a long time.
• I couldn't remember a reference work that was mentioned in an interview I read with Tim Powers, James Blaylock and K.W. Jeter, the godfathers of steampunk. Hell, Jeter coined the term. I sent him an email asking if he might know what I was referring to, not really expecting to hear back since authors of his stature are busy people, they have legions of fans and he doesn't know me from Adam's housecat. I got a response from the author of "Infernal Devices" and "Morlock Night" in under two hours.
• Craig Cartmell, co-author of "In Her Majesty's Name," has been highly complimentary about the fiction I've posted here. 
• I am currently engaged in a Facebook poke war with wappellious, winner of Crystal Brush and Golden Demon awards aplenty. James truly goes the extra mile in the how-to articles on his informative and educational (and beautiful) blog.
• And most of all, the outpouring of love and support we've received from you, my readers and colleagues, as I've shared things about my own struggle with hoarding and depression and my wife's continuing battle with her spinal condition and chronic pain. You have buoyed our spirits, dried our tears, fueled our fires and inspired us both to continue fighting the good fight. All you people are amazing, and I am more grateful than I will ever find adequate words to say.

There are more and others, but these are the ones I can find in my head and my heart most easily tonight.

Damn but you people are fantastic.

Addressing concerns, voiced and unvoiced

Someone raised a valid point over on the Lead Adventure Forum, where I'd posted a link to my last blog entry, "Courting Disaster." He or she contrasted that post with the issues I revealed in my earlier blog entry, "Confession to make," regarding my struggles with hoarding. The writer seemed confused by my apparent disregard for my recovery and the good advice and support I've received from fellow gamers here on my blog and at sites I frequent like LAF.

If one person is brave enough to raise the issue with me, then it's a good indicator that others are thinking it, too, so I wanted to share here what I wrote in response to that post on LAF:

Yes, I see I am not the only one snowed under by the quality of current and upcoming releases, which I need because of reasons.

@bezzo: You appear to have misconstrued the tone of the current post, which is with tongue firmly in cheek, and the nature of my mental malfunction described in the earlier post. My hoarding is not gaming-centric. I of course suffer from "Ooh, shiny" syndrome, wanting the latest and prettiest toys, but the reach of hoarding is so much greater. It involves keeping and being unable to discard items OF NO INTRINSIC VALUE. Used disposable items like old paper plates or clogged razors become part of the detritus covering the surfaces of a hoarder's home, and our bad programming means trying to get rid of them fills us with a paralyzing anxiety. Things that others can clearly see are garbage become necessary to our feelings of safety and security. The issues for which I posited in my new post, for humorous effect, that my wife would want to discipline me (heh heh) are FINANCIAL in nature, not related to new items entering our home. But thank you for your concern. I am indeed grateful for the interest, advice, efforts and outreach of my many good friends here at Lead Adventure Forum (and other Internet watering holes.) As I try to cope with and correct my behavior, it is that support that gives me strength. I won't be abandoning my hobby, though, because it is from there that I derive a portion of the enjoyment that makes up a satisfactory quality of life.

I hope that addresses any concerns one might have, especially if anyone feels slighted and thinks I've disregarded their advice. Far from it, but dealing with problems like this is a marathon, not a sprint, and the overlap between my acquisition of gaming goodies and my hoarding is minor at best.

Again, thank you all for your continued love and support. You people are the best damn friends a man could ask for, and I am grateful for each and every one of you. All my best to you.

Empire of the Dead: Requiem kickstarter

West Wind's kickstarter for the miniatures expansion of Empire of the Dead, called Requiem, is certainly going great guns. Once it launched on Valentine's Day, its £5,000 goal was fully funded in two hours. I plumped for one of the early bird specials at the £75 level, making sure I get my grubby mitts on all the LE kickstarter-exclusive minis they're producing, plus 28 points worth of the new models.

 As of this writing, the campaign has taken in nearly £34,000. As the funding level increases, miniatures within the factions are being unlocked, and stretch goal miniatures are being added. The difference is that everyone pledging Requiem-level (the aforementioned £75) and above gets the stretch-goal minis (which are limited-edition kickstarter-only) for free. Unlocked minis can be chosen with the points you receive for your pledge level. (Most human-sized minis are 1 point, some larger ones, like Mr. Hyde, the Baron's Monster or the squamous Professor Gecko are 2 point minis.)

So what of the stretch goals and unlockables have been revealed so far? First the exclusives:



First up was Tatu, who Andy says is a half-vampire servant of the Broken Dawn cult. I guess that makes her a Dhampyr. At right is Jade Dragon, an Imperial assassin wielding a massive twin-barreled pistol. Again, these are free with your pledge at Requiem-level and above.

I neglected to mention that every supporter at the £5 level and above receives the LE mini of Nedezhda Durova, vampire hunter. I took this image of her from the project page on Kickstarter.

Werewolf Hunter Aisha will be the next stretch goal mini to unlock, once the campaign hits £40,000.

It also appears that two minis for the Order of the Dragon set (vampires, of course) have been unlocked. The Mad Man and the first of the Vampire brides.

 

If you're a backer, go to the update about the vampire bride and suggest a name for her. My google-fu is sometimes wonky, but it seems in Stoker's book the brides are unnamed (and are called "sisters" but not brides), and they have acquired names in some film adaptations and written reimaginings. Although I chucked a few suggestions of my own in there for Andy, I really like Marcin Zdybicki's suggestion to call her Ingrid in honor of the late, great Ingrid Pitt, who played Carmilla in "The Vampire Lovers."

That wraps up everything I've seen so far about the single figures. I haven't been combing the comments like I usually would, but I see Andy's been answering questions there. Here's the big graphic with many of the figures that are part of this project, but there are higher-quality versions on the project's main page.

Later I'll come back and discuss the new faction they revealed today, Scotland Yard's Supernatural Branch, as well as they vehicles they're working on.

On a personal note, I want to greatly thank everyone for their words of care and comfort last night when we had to take my wife to the emergency room after she fainted and fell. She's feeling better, just bruised and a bit embarrassed. And pissed off about the scrape on her forehead where she hit the floor! But she's doing much better today, and we're both relieved this wasn't another incident where her hemoglobin had dropped precipitously low, like it did a few years ago. They admitted her that time, and it took an enormous amount of transfused blood and intravenous iron to get her back to normal. (Or as normal as anyone in our family ever gets.)

Additionally, I want to thank those who took the time to write about my post immediately preceding this one, whether you commented here, privately, or on the Lead Adventure Forum.  I've always known our community is a caring one, but by your words and actions you continue to show that you are some of the best people ANYWHERE. I am humbled to be friends with so many of you, whether we have ever met face-to-face or not.You are some damn fine folks, and I am proud to know you.

Confession to make

OK, you readers have been too polite to say anything, but I hear the whispers of the questions through the vibrating power lines. My mechanical parts feel the doubt building in the stray electrons left by my posts.

"Christopher, why don't you ever post pictures of your painted minis?"

Because there are none. Not new ones anyway. To be honest, I haven't applied paintbrush to mini in over two years. And the last time all I did was spray-prime my nascent zombie horde.

It hasn't stopped my planning and acquiring minis to paint, obviously. You've seen those photos.

It's not for any insecurity about the results. I'm a decent painter, to what I consider a good tabletop standard.

My problem is finding, or rather making, space to paint.

Because I'm a hoarder. Every surface in my home is crowded and cluttered. The floor, to me, is a low, flat shelf.

God, it feels good to admit it in a public forum. I. Am. A hoarder. (Warning: Personal revelations only tangentially related to gaming follow. If you're a tl;dr type of person, you may want to skip to the end.)

For years I thought I was just sloppy. And lazy. And I am both those things, for certain values of sloppy and lazy.

It moved into full-fledged hoarding over the years, as health crises and family events chipped away at my stability. It's not to the degree of the people you see on television, mainly because I don't own property. (And no cat skeletons under the furniture here. Our cat is very much alive and a multi-clawed threat to my safety and well-being.)

My wife and I rent a two-bedroom duplex, and the clutter and collections and trash, sometimes all intermingled, have taken over both bedrooms and are threatening the living room and the kitchen.

If it were just me, I might ignore it and just go full-on batshit crazy and become "that guy" in our little town, with the house the kids warn each other away from with the judicious use of campfire tales and sleepover horror stories.

But even as the indecision, insecurity and, at times, obsession inch closer to overwhelming me, I am consumed with something more powerful.

The love of my wife. I love her with the white-hot heat of a thousand suns. I would pull the stars from the sky for her. I would drag souls to hell for her. If I could heal her crippling genetic disorder with a smoothie made of severed heads and blended babies, I would become the greatest mass murderer this planet has ever seen.

But I can't. So I won't. (Who am I kidding? I abhor violence IRL. I even have trouble transgressing my own moral code in a VIDEOGAME. I am the only person who plays Grand Theft Auto and stops at the stoplights.)

Instead I am fighting the bad programming in my head that makes the stacks of boxes and mounds of clothing feel like castle walls and parapets, protecting my too-oft-wounded heart. Even as I shoulder Sisyphian guilt over the condition of our home, I also feel safe. The clown prince of clutter. A king of rags and patches.

I gradually make headway against the clutter littering the floor, which has reduced the amount of our home my wife can access to about 25 square feet.

Unfortunately, even if it were spotless, she couldn't move much farther anyway. She suffers the genetic disorder ankylosing spondylitis, which I think I've written about before. It's sometimes called "bamboo spine," because as it progresses, it fuses the spine into one solid mass of bone. It hinders her movement and leaves her in constant pain. She gets about some with a walker, mostly by wheelchair. Drugs manage most of the pain and the muscle spasms.

She has made friends across the world on the Internet, as have I. I try to make sure she has as much access to information, communication and entertainment as possible. Now I'm fighting my own brain, my fear, to return our home to a state of which she can be proud.

It approaches irony that the artistic release of painting minis would do much to ease my mind and soothe my brittle feelings. So all I can say is ...

Yes, soon. I made big strides on my days off this week, and I plan to do a little more each day. Eventually, I'll have enough of a clear work area that I can drag out my minis and paints and get to work. My goal is within two weeks. I'm also using this as a motivator:

Studio McVey painting competition on Wamp

Having just acquired Sedition Wars (and having a few of the metal SW minis as well) I am spoiled for choice. And the entry deadline isn't until April. Even I should be able to hit that.

I'll be back later today with more about the Empire of the Dead: Requiem kickstarter (to which I've already pledged.)

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!