Music of the night

My local radio station has betrayed me.

It was formerly a "hard rock" station, and now it has adjusted its format about 15 degrees to starboard and has taken "Man up!" as its tagline. What this has meant is swapping out the hard, driving, heavy songs I so cherish for the guitar-heavy rock ballads and teen masturbatory fantasies from 30 years ago.

I'm getting a lot less Avenged Sevenfold and way more Def Leppard.

I'm sorry, but I need my metal.

I need music that is going to attack me. Lead guitar lashing out like a multi-limbed creature in a knife fight to the death. Bass slinking around the stage, building up a miasmic atmosphere that threatens to engulf the audience. And percussion crashing like the battle of Ragnarok threatening to shatter the mountains on the horizon as it spills into view. Other instruments to taste,as they say, either nailing the audience to its seats or whipping them into a Eryinic frenzy.

I need a song that is going to stalk me like a warrior woman clad for battle. And as she lands her fatal blow, the last thing my mind perceives is the sweet, bitter taste of her apocalipstick.

Rant mode off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled gaming content.